Yesterday, while out in public exercising my favorite hobby (browsing a used bookstore with my wife and or daughter), I came across a book that reminded me of why I wanted to start this blog in the first place: To give objective perspectives on moral questions, dilemmas, debates. . . anything, really. As long as the goal was to help people. I hoped to help people see other perspectives in our every day life, no matter how large or small. That by Just present in the moment, or ’eternal now’, can bring positive change into this world. I came across a book that contained thousands of random questions, many on the topic of morality, but a few others to make you think, all of which I would like to share. I would like to dedicate this new blog series to the questions that we all face at some point in our lives. Questions that, if thought about, can help alter your perspective and lead a happier, healthier life. Allow me to kick off The Morality Series.
Lets start off with a simple moral question, one of which has been my favorite for some time.
The Self Worth Equation & The Flaw in the Formula
We’re taught to quantify everything. Productivity apps track our output, social media tallies our likes, and our culture is obsessed with milestones. But what gets measured gets managed, and when we only manage for achievements, we risk losing the unquantifiable parts of ourselves—the compassion, the presence, the quiet integrity.
I remember speaking to my wife about feeling down for not being able to provide for all my family’s needs. She reminded me how many people go on vacations just to look like a happy family. How many parents with money make time to get to know their children and help them around every corner? How many husbands and fathers do you know who have such a wonderful and solid relationship with their wives and daughters? “That is the you I know. We don’t love you for the money you can bring in, but for how you truly provide for the family.” My wife reminded me of what truly matters in the short time we are here.
Introducing a Radical Variable: The Care Ratio
This got me thinking. What if we could measure something else? Something warmer and more connective?
Here’s the idea: What if a measure of our own “goodness” or moral weight is found in the ratio of how much we care for and give to others versus how much we expect or receive in return?
Let’s call it the Care Ratio.
Care Given (to others, to the world, to yourself with kindness)
__________________________________________
Care Received or Expected
A ratio greater than 1? You’re operating from a place of abundance, giving without immediate expectation. A ratio that consistently tips toward expecting more than you give? Maybe it’s time for a gentle audit of your heart.
This isn’t about martyrdom or self-sacrifice until you’re empty. Giving includes giving yourself grace, rest, and compassion. The “care given” column absolutely has your own name in it.
What This Looks Like in Real Life (Spoiler: It’s Not Grand Gestures)
This equation plays out in the mundane, beautiful mess of daily life:
Listening vs. Waiting to Talk: That day I sat with my colleague who was having a tough time, fully listening without mentally rehearsing my own "more impressive" problem.
The Unseen Chore: Doing the dishes without announcing it, just because it makes the shared space nicer.
Silent Support: Sending a "thinking of you" text with no agenda, not even expecting a reply.
Self-Care as a Deposit: Taking that walk, saying "no" to a draining request, and counting it as a credit to your capacity to care for your world, not a debit from your productivity.
Rewriting My Own Ledger
I started a simple journal practice. Not of achievements, but of these tiny, ratio-shifting moments.
One evening’s entry looked like this:
*Gave: Listened to mom vent about her garden for 20 minutes. Made coffee for my partner before they asked. Gave myself permission to read a novel for an hour guilt-free.*
Received (or Expected): Felt briefly annoyed I wasn’t "being productive." Got a hug.
The “gave” list felt longer, richer, more me. The scoreboard in my head began to static, then fade. It was being replaced by something softer—a sense of groundedness.
The “gave” list felt longer, richer, more me. The scoreboard in my head began to static, then fade. It was being replaced by something softer—a sense of groundedness.
The New, Unfinished Equation
So, here’s where I’ve landed. The Self-Worth Equation isn’t a single, solvable formula. It’s a dynamic balance:
Your Value = (Your Inherent Humanity + Your Care Ratio) / (Your Reliance on External Validation)
You can’t control the denominator much—the world will always have opinions. But you can grow the numerator infinitely. Your inherent humanity is the constant—you are worthy because you breathe, full stop. The Care Ratio is the variable you can influence every single day.
The magic is, when you focus on the Care Ratio, a funny thing happens. The achievements don’t necessarily stop, but they change. They become byproducts, not destinations. You work from a place of passion, not panic. You connect from authenticity, not agenda.
Frank the fiddle-leaf fig eventually died (RIP). The shine of that promotion dulled into the routine of a job I now do with more balance. But the practice of measuring my care? That’s alive.
So, try it. Just for a week. Put down the resume of your life and pick up the ledger of your heart. Tally the small, quiet moments of giving—to others, to your community, to your own tired soul. See if the sum of that care doesn’t feel more like value than any line on a CV ever could.
You might just find that your worth was never in the trophies. It wasnt somthing you could display on a shelf or recive an award for. The most valuable thing we can offer, or that we can achevie has been with us for the entire ride.
Please stay tuned to my Morality Series, as for my next post, I will be discussing how to know yourself, and how to discover the type of people others truly are.