First and foremost: I’d like to begin by stating that if you are in danger of hurting yourself or others, please call the Crisis Lifeline at 988 (@988lifeline) for help. I am not a medical professional, and my advice should not be considered a substitute for professional assistance.
For those of you visiting, I’m sure that I don’t need to tell you about the horrifying nature of depression. But for those who have not experienced it, let me assure you that it is not just sadness; it is so much more, and far worse. Put simply, depression can be described as an incurable cancer of the mind.
It may feel as though depression is the end, but I want to assure you that it is not. Life can, and does, get much better if you are equipped with the proper weapons to fight against it. Living with depression is just as challenging as living with someone who is depressed. I have divided this series into two parts: “Living in Depression” and “Living with Depression.” The first part offers help for those suffering from depression, while the second part provides help for those whose loved ones are affected. (Links to both)
Although my degree is not in medicine, I consider myself a lifelong student of the science of the mind and the human condition. Since I am not a doctor, I cannot identify the specific imbalances or prescribe medications for individual cases. However, I can empathize with those who also know the soul-devouring ferocity and relentless nature of depression. I understand what it means to live with, survive, and cope with depression. And now, I would like to share my journey with you, and the tricks I have learned along the way for managing it.
You Are Not Alone
You are not alone. (Exchange top picture and place here) I know it can feel that way. As a suicide-attempt and depression survivor, I understand it may seem like everyone around you is watching as you drown. You are not alone, even as you close your eyes, hoping for a place without pain. You are not alone.
Furthermore, you are stronger than those who have never experienced depression. You battle nearly every day of your life, with every breath. This resilience counts for something–it counts for everything–because you are still here!
What you read here is not a generated post. It is not the same regurgitation from doctors and GPT engines–many of whom may know all there is to know about depression, except what truly matters; how it feels. I write this from the perspective of someone who is also is a multi-attempt survivor of depression.
Below are the methods that I found were most effective for me, and I sincerely hope they will work for you as well. I have learned that you no longer have to fight the war in isolation; there is a path to victory. You will still encounter small bouts of depression, as it is an illness, but I want to share the methods I use, and continue to use daily, to win this war–paving the way to a life filled with joy, satisfaction, and contentment.
There is hope. And this hope is real.
Mantra
This will pass. This will pass. This will pass.
A mantra is the repetition of a word or phrase until it resonates within you, helping to free your mind from what you are struggling with. This Will Pass has been my personal mantra since I was a child, and it has carried me through more storms than I care to recall. If you are reading this and have experienced the torment of a storm, then you understand the power of this mantra. This Will Pass!
Much of what I have come to learn has helped me, and I hope it will benefit you as well. I acknowledge that depression can strike even at the most joyful times in your life, but in order to conquer depression, we must delve deep into its nature.
Only when I learned to see Depression for what it truly was (rather than feeling it) was I able to comprehend how to combat it. Depression is a disease, and like all diseases, it requires nourishment. It thrives on your self-loathing, doubt, insecurities, traumas, and pain. Our most effective weapon against depression is to deny it this sustenance. And so, that’s as good a place as any to begin.
I frequently discuss mindfulness and thinking objectively, but applying these concepts to the realm of depression was instrumental in my ability to fight it no longer. I strongly advise you to read (List book), as well as my post on getting started with practicing mindfulness, as I believe mindfulness is a crucial tool that played a pivotal role in my victory over depression.
Affirmations
Affirmations serve as the cousin to the mantra. They help retrain our brain to view ourselves in a more positive light–which, in turn, assists in minimizing the number and intensity of depressive episodes one may experience. In contrast to my previous post about learning to be mindful, I would like you to concentrate solely on the positives.
When I was frequently visited by the storm–or depressive episodes–, I learned to re-frame experiences when an episode threatened to engulf me. I told myself that enduring these difficulties was the cost of being happy, creative, and a beautiful human being. Without Affirmations, this transformation would not have been possible. I needed to comprehend, not merely believe, about the beauty within myself–the beauty that exists in all of us. Over and over again, I am a wonderful person, I am a talented person.
The objective here is for you to recognize positive traits that we often find difficult to acknowledge in ourselves; not just to believe but to truly know that you are wonderful and talented. With time, the depressive episodes will grow more distant, each one possessing less intensity than the last.
The Mindful experience
Those of us who deal with depression understand how deeply our minds can wound us. A technique I’ve learned from practicing cognitive mindfulness is to experience an episode rather than feeling it. If you are new to this method, it might seem a bit unusual initially, but with practice, it will become second nature and give you back control of your own thoughts.
What you need to do is step outside your body and observe yourself as if you were a doctor examining a patient. Identify the source of the pain objectively–as though you were an outsider. Determine what, if any, triggers are present. Take the time to understand what is happening within you right now. By doing this, you will no longer feel the terror that depression inflicts, but instead, you will experience it as an observer. Gaining insight–even working towards understanding the root or trigger–will significantly lessen both the intensity and duration of the episode. If you are in need of guidance on where to begin your journey into mindfulness, I recommend revisiting this post once more. Learning to be mindful.
Medicine
Medicine manifests in various forms. Primarily, it is essential that you adhere to any prescribed medication as instructed to maintain your overall well-being. Over the course of time, your dosages may adjust according to your evolving needs and your focus on self-improvement. Engaging in walks while concentrating on positive affirmations can help alleviate anxiety and stress. Additionally, you may explore repeating mantras, listening to calming music, or practicing meditation during these walks to provide your body with the opportunity to recuperate.
A Healthy Diet
Everything begins in the mind. Just as a vehicle cannot function efficiently without fuel or electricity, your body cannot thrive without proper nourishment. Eating well lays the foundation for all self-improvement efforts. You deserve to be healthy and happy, so it’s crucial that you supply your brain and body with the essential nutrients they need. Keep in mind that making dietary changes can present challenges, given how prevalent sugar is in our surroundings (take notice of product placements during your next trip to the grocery store). However, without a healthy diet, most healing processes are likely to falter.
Love Yourself
This was the most challenging aspect for me personally. Affirmations and positive self-talk enabled me to discover the beauty of existing on this planet and within myself. Many people with low self-esteem also struggle with codependency, which can be almost as detrimental. Relying on someone else to validate our existence, happiness, or pain is unhealthy. Those who experience depression (statistically) often form relationships in which they feel undeserving, rather than receiving the love and support we truly deserve. You deserve the best! Having a supportive partner can make all the difference.
Forgive Yourself and Others
Many of us have committed actions in the past that we regret deeply. We’ve also experienced hurtful actions from others that still linger within us. In my opinion, forgiving yourself is the most difficult task one can undertake in life. Most of the time, we try to convince ourselves that we are forgiven, but we still feel the pain, remorse, and sadness. In your heart, truly forgiving–both yourself and others–is the most liberating experience and an incredible gift. You owe it to yourself to move on.
Allow Time for Healing
The concepts I’ve shared might seem simple in theory, but putting them into practice and maintaining this progress can be challenging initially. Healing, rest, and self-care are essential. For instance, if you break a leg, it requires rest to heal correctly, or the bone will not set properly (or may set incorrectly). But what happens after your leg has healed? It becomes stronger. Our minds function similarly–they want to heal as much as we do. Allowing ourselves time to heal is a crucial starting point.
I hope that these words find you well. For those who wish to better support loved ones struggling with depression, please continue to part 2 of this series.
