Conspiracy theories, the not-so-serious or non-political kind, serve as a mental break from work, much like recess time did in grade school. Pondering their merit, whether factual or not, is beside the point. As humans, we’re drawn to mysteries and what-ifs in life. We enjoy daydreaming about an Undiscovered Country that only requires our time for refuge.
Nothing To See Here. Move Along
When I mention Roswell, NM, our thoughts instantly transform into a UFO crash—an event (‘non-event’) that took place in 1947. Alongside this image, we envision countless roadside diners in New Mexico displaying flying saucer logos.
A ship has indeed crashed, and given the circumstances, a cover-up seemed logical; keeping the population calm and composed was crucial, rather than having them panic over the prospect of an alien invasion. The War of the World’s radio broadcast in 1938 serves as a stark reminder of the chaos caused by false information. In short, I feel the government is allowed a pass on the subject of Extraterrestrials.
We have some wreckage, but overall, the ship appears intact enough for transportation across the desert. Our technology at that time was rudimentary at best; handmade stone cutting tools were a stark contrast to modern-day advancements. So, what’s next?
Realizing limitations, the government began recruiting brilliant minds covertly. In order to maintain ownership and control over any potential discoveries from the craft, it was best that everyone involved in the project operated under one single, manageable–and monitorable–umbrella. Consequently, an agency was established in 1958, known as the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA). Let’s get this party started, shall we.
Welcome to 1958, with no progress made yet (concerning UFO’s, women’s rights, etc.). It would likely take several years to reverse-engineer extraterrestrial technology using the tools of the era. Reverse engineering tech that is eons beyond ours would be like Caveman-Joe trying to perform brain surgery with a sharpened stick. Remarkably enough, conversations surrounding computers and networks began to emerge during the early 1950s—concepts that scarcely existed at the time. It would be as though we were discussing which Flux-capacitor LED colors that we planned to install into our flying cars.
We’ve Made a Discovery, Sir!
The mystery starts to unfold as they have managed to decipher at least the basic blueprints of how whatever-it-was in that spacecraft communicated with whatever-else-it-was. Let’s call it DARPANET. No? Too obvious? Alright then, let’s go with ARPANET instead. I can easily envision how this conversation might have transpired.
General: Excellent work. We need to name this new network.
Engineer: How about DARPA-NET?
General: No, that’s not discreet enough.
Engineer: Then how about… ARPANET?
General: Brilliant!
ARPANET was established by the US Department of Defense in the early 1960s, marking the beginning of the avalanche leading to today’s internet. However, technology doesn’t always follow a set timeline; sometimes we must wait. In the early 1970s (specifically, 1971), we had both the necessary technology and time to dissect and reverse-engineer a protocol used in a spacecraft that had been gathering dust for over twenty years.
Hold Up. Wait a Minute.
Now, here, is where I find myself raising an eyebrow. With a full career in tech as a network engineer, I’m quite familiar with the business processes of technology life-cycles. Normally, technology gets updated after some time—every three years or so for the average company. But when was the last update for this protocol (TCP), allegedly created by our trustworthy government in 1971?
Bingo. Never. This technology was that good from the get-go, developed before computers—as we know them—even existed, and didn’t require any updates or revisions. That’s like saying a green-screen computer from the ’80s, which required 5.5-inch floppy disks to boot (Yes, I am old enough to remember doing that), never needed replacement.
Maybe it’s because we can’t. It’s not our technology. Somehow, this protocol was so perfect upon its creation that we added numerous routing protocols on top of it instead—the assumption being that everything from 1971 was good enough to build upon, right? Due to our remarkable invention, TCP has been flawless since its inception.
An Internet Plagued with Issues
Despite its advantages, the internet faces numerous problems, primarily due to two groups of individuals who operate behind the scenes: idiots (poor management) and assholes. We are either breaking shit or hacking shit.
Period.
Basically, the primary challenges we encounter with routing protocols stem from attempts to manipulate and misuse technology. Additionally, human error such bugs and typos in configurations also add to the never-ending-shenanigans. However, if we were a more cooperative species, perhaps we would let these protocols function effectively for us rather than working against us.
Then again, maybe if the smartest brains and the inventions they spawned–that could literally save humankind—weren’t disappeared because they threatened big business, we would be on other planets by now.
All this is probably not true, but hey, it’s fun to take ‘Thought Trots’, yeah?
